The 13 Most Annoying Music Artists of the 1970s
Although exciting new genres of music such as disco, punk, New Wave, and glam rock emerged in the 1970s, there were also annoying easy listening and soft rock artists who permeated the radio waves. For every David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, or Blondie, there was a Captain & Tennille, Morris Albert, or Engelbert Humperdinck to annoy listeners.
What traits does an annoying music artist have? Usually, it’s any combination of the following: cheesy or saccharine lyrics, overwrought vocal delivery, irritating sound effects, repetitive noises or choruses, and a complete lack of self-awareness.
The following music artists may have charted some hits and sold a number of records in the 1970s, but their songs didn’t stand the test of time. How many of these ’70s songsters work your last nerve?
Captain & Tennille
The husband-and-wife duo Captain & Tennille pretty much reigned as the king and queen of cheesy 1970s easy listening. The duo is known for breezy, yacht-friendly hits such as “Do It to Me One More Time” and “Love Will Keep Us Together.”
One of their most egregious songs is the 1972 hit “Muskrat Love” about, yes, a romantic encounter between two of the titular aquatic rodents. With lyrics such as “Now, he’s ticklin’ her fancy/Rubbin’ her ties/Muzzle to muzzle now/Anything goes/As they wiggle/Sue starts to giggle,” “Muskrat Love” will test a listener’s pain threshold for corny ’70s soft rock.
Engelbert Humperdinck
Career balladeer Engelbert Humperdinck became a household name in the 1960s for songs such as “Release Me” and “The Last Waltz.” In the 1970s, Humperdinck hopped toward the top of the charts with the Velveeta-y “After the Lovin’” and “This Moment in Time.”
Humperdinck has reportedly sold more than 140 million records during his half-century career as a silky crooner who used to drive the ladies wild in Las Vegas. At least Humperdinck has a sense of humor about his unique place in pop history by recording the song “Lesbian Seagull” for the Beavis and Butt-Head Do America soundtrack.
Tony Orlando and Dawn
The pop group Tony Orlando and Dawn is known for 1970s earworms such as “Candida,” “Knock Three Times,” and “Say, Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose.”
Their most egregious hit is 1973’s insufferable “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree,” which topped the charts for four weeks. Told from the perspective of a man who just got released from prison, the lyrics describe an understanding the ex-convict has with his lady. If he drives by on the bus and sees that she tied a yellow ribbon around the ole oak tree, he’ll know that she’s thinking of him and will get off the bus. Without a ribbon, he will move on. Really?
Bread
Bread is a California soft rock band fronted by David Gates that had 13 radio-friendly hits in the 1970s, including “Make It With You,” “If,” and “Everything I Own.”
When you hear the word “bread,” you think of something soft, basic, and plain with the potential to go stale fast, which perfectly describes the band Bread’s easy-breezy sound that annoys because it’s so deliberately gentle.
Bread reunited for a final time in 1996 for a 25th-anniversary tour of the United States before their career was toast.
Helen Reddy
Australian-American singer Helen Reddy is known for grating 1970s hits such as “Delta Dawn” and “Angie Baby,” but her most annoying ditty is her signature song, “I Am Woman.”
In the jangly, inexplicable latter hit with a country twang, Reddy chirps, “Yes, I am wise/But it’s wisdom born of pain/Yes, I’ve paid the price/But look how much I’ve gained/If I have to, I can do anything/I am strong/I am invincible/I am womannnnn.” She should have added “irritating” to that long list of claims.
Bee Gees
Comprised of brothers Barry, Robin, and Maurice Gibb, the Bee Gees dominated the disco scene in the late 1970s thanks to Barry’s ear-piercing falsetto heard on songs such as “Jive Talkin’,” “Stayin’ Alive,” “More Than a Woman,” and “Tragedy.”
You couldn’t turn on a tinny-sounding radio in the late 1970s without hearing a Bee Gees’ jam from the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever. There is only so much of Barry Gibb’s shrill falsetto that a human can endure before one’s ears start to drip blood.
KC and the Sunshine Band
As far as annoying dance music is concerned, KC and the Sunshine Band shine brighter than a mirrored disco ball. This disco and funk band fronted by Harry Wayne “KC” Casey and Richard Finch is responsible for dance hits such as “Get Down Tonight,” “That’s the Way (I Like It),” “Shake Shake Shake (Shake Your Booty),” and “I’m Your Boogieman.”
That’s a lot of boogeying and booty shaking for one band, but that’s the way — uh-huh, uh-huh — they liked it. Do you understand now why punk rock happened in response to this nonstop boogie fever?
Starland Vocal Band
Starland Vocal Band was an American pop band comprised of four members, including husband and wife Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert. They dominated the 1976 charts with their Grammy-winning, number-one hit “Afternoon Delight” — a flirty song about post-lunch amorousness.
That song’s lyrics such as “Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite/Looking forward to a little afternoon delight/Rubbin’ sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite/And the thought of lovin’ you is getting so exciting/Sky rockets in flight/Afternoon delight” indicate that the singer needs a cold shower or a day job… or both.
Morris Albert
Morris Albert is a one-hit wonder, but that hit has enough emotion to fill several albums! If there is a more cloying 1970s song than the Brazilian singer’s 1974 hit “Feelings,” we can’t think of it.
With an instantly recognizable “whoa whoa whoa” chorus, Albert gets in touch with his considerable feelings about love and wants listeners to feel it with him. The international adult contemporary hit will make modern listeners feel some type of way, too — just probably not the same as Albert intended.
Rupert Holmes
British-American composer, singer-songwriter, author, and yacht-rock god Rupert Holmes is best known for 1979’s fantasy-filled “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).”
The number-one song’s faux-romantic lyrics describe a man tired of his relationship who reads the following in a personal ad: “If you like piña coladas/And gettin’ caught in the rain/If you’re not into yoga/If you have half a brain/If you like makin’ love at midnight/In the dunes on the cape/Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for/Write to me and escape.”
Dock the boat and find some shade, Mr. Holmes, before you have a sunstroke!
Debby Boone
Singer-author-actress Debby Boone is the daughter of singer-actor Pat Boone, so the apple didn’t fall far from the tree — although some may wish it rolled a wee bit farther down the hill.
Believe it or not, vocalists aren’t contractually obligated to only sing songs about dating, but nobody would know it judging from Grammy winner Debby Boone’s emotional, overwrought ballad “You Light Up My Life.” The cover song topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart for 10 (!) unbelievable weeks in 1977. Boone belts the lyrics “And you light up my life/You give me hope to carry on/You light up my days and fill my nights with song” with embarrassingly serious conviction.
After mouth-birthing songs about unwavering romantic love, Boone turned her attention to contemporary Christian music in the 1980s. Amen to that!
The Partridge Family
The TV show The Partridge Family is about a band comprised of the titular family. Lead singer David Cassidy, who played Keith Partridge on the show, helped the Partridge Family score real-life hits such as “I Think I Love You” and a bunch of covers of 1950s and 1960s songs.
The success of the bombastic “I Think I Love You” and the TV series itself made Cassidy a teen idol. The mania and screaming fans that surrounded him for much of the 1970s became tiresome for everyone else immune to his teenybop charms and sweet-nothing songs.
The Osmonds
The Osmonds is comprised of brothers Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay, and Donny Osmond from Utah. The group is known for the annoyingly wholesome hits “One Bad Apple,” “Yo-Yo,” “Down by the Lazy River,” and “Love Me for a Reason.” Watch this video link for “One Bad Apple” to understand why the Osmonds’ squeaky-clean schtick came across as the Mormon answer to the Jackson Five.
As Donny aged and his voice changed, he started singing with his sister, Marie, and they starred together on the Donny & Marie variety show. It is there where we learned that Marie is a little bit country, Donny is a little bit rock and roll, and they both are a lot of milk toast.
