Being Polite Matters: 15 Signs That You Might Have Bad Manners

While the formality of our personal and professional lives has relaxed, society still upholds certain social contracts that govern our conduct. Men no longer feel compelled to don suits and ties for work, and women are no longer bound by the necessity of pantyhose for every outing.

However, there are certain behaviors that will always be in vogue, such as expressing gratitude to those who have served us and being mindful of our volume in public spaces.

While the list of bad manners could be extensive, we’ve condensed it to the top 15 signs. This practical guide can help you identify areas where you might need to brush up on your social skills. 

1. You Constantly Interrupt

We all know someone prone to interrupting you or anyone they’re speaking to. If you don’t know that person, you might just be that person. It shows a lack of respect and disinterest if you don’t allow the person you’re conversing with to finish their sentence before you jump in and derail the conversation.

Maybe you’re excited to share your news or how that story relates to your life. I get it–we’ve all been there, but don’t do it. A good rule of thumb is to wait at least a few seconds after someone pauses before chiming in. Being inconsiderate of someone when they’re speaking speaks volumes about your character, and you don’t want to be known as “that person.”

2. Not Standing When Introduced

When someone at your party introduces you, but you don’t stand to greet the person you’re being introduced to, it is considered rude. If you can’t stand for any reason at all, you should wave or, at the very least, stick out your hand to be shaken.

By doing so, the person you’re meeting for the first time will associate you with the name they’re being given, which will create a more friendly atmosphere throughout the event you’re both attending.

3. Eating With Your Elbows on the Table

This etiquette rule is one of the more important ones to follow. For two reasons, keeping your elbows off the table while eating is necessary when demonstrating good manners.

First and foremost, it’s practical. Keeping your elbows close prevents bumping into others, spilling items, and dirtying your clothes. When sitting between diners, keeping your elbows off the table allows others to chat and make eye contact comfortably.

Secondly, keeping your elbows off the table shows appreciation for the meal and respect for your host while also preventing overly familiar behavior during formal occasions.

4. Being Rude to Servers

If you’re inclined to think those working in the service industry are beneath you and treat them as such, then you’re demonstrating you have bad manners. Treating servers poorly proves you don’t respect them and will make you unappealing to those you’re dining with and the restaurant staff. 

Being kind to the people making and serving your food doesn’t take anything. As someone who worked as a server two decades ago, it wasn’t uncommon for me to give a little something at no cost to those who were super friendly–giving new meaning to “it pays to be nice.”

5. Not Saying Please and Thank You

I only want to know you if you make it a habit to say thank you and please. Absentmindedly forgetting to do so is understandable. I’m the type of person who will text the person I’ve wronged if I’ve forgotten to say either of these.

It takes no effort on your part to utter these simple phrases when someone has done something nice for you or you’re asking them to do something. Besides, you want to avoid getting the reputation of being impolite. People will stop doing things for you if so.

6. Refusing to Apologize

Refusing to apologize is a sign of bad manners. Apologizing when you have done something to hurt another or when you were in the wrong takes courage and humility, but it’s always the correct thing to do.

Apologies are powerful for repairing relationships, promoting forgiveness, and allowing the healing process to occur. They help build and maintain good friendships, show strength of character, and demonstrate emotional competence.

7. Not Respecting Cultural Differences

Respecting other cultures is crucial for advancing cultural diversity, understanding, and tolerance. It acknowledges the value and unique contributions of each culture and promotes a more harmonious coexistence. By recognizing that no single way of living or thinking is superior, we appreciate the variety of human experiences. 

This respect helps break down prejudices, encourages open-mindedness, and strengthens global relationships, contributing to a more inclusive and peaceful world.

8. Speaking Loudly

We all know what it means when you hear a parent tell their child(ren), “Use your inside voice.” However, there are people who only use their outside voices, even when they shouldn’t. This is an example of having bad manners.  

Controlling your volume when speaking inside is an unwritten rule in the social contract that should be acknowledged. Not everyone around you wants to know what happened to your brother’s dog or how your kid is failing school. Turn down the volume. 

9. Using Foul Language Inappropriately

Swearing conveys disrespect and offensiveness while also serving as a communication tool and a source of humor. However, its capacity to shock lies in the unspoken and often unconscious inferences speakers and listeners make about each other.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to using a “bad” word here and there to make a point. However, there is a time and place for the use of foul language. If you’re dropping F-bombs every other word, are you making a point or just exemplifying bad manners?

10. Not Asking Permission

An old adage goes, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission,” and that might hold water in some cases. However, in general, it often doesn’t. Taking or using something that doesn’t belong to you without asking permission first demonstrates bad manners. 

Asking for permission is a crucial social skill that respects others’ boundaries and personal space. It builds trust, empowers individuals, and significantly improves communication and relationships. For example, asking for permission in the classroom helps maintain a positive environment.

11. Ignoring Personal Space

I don’t know about you, but having my personal space invaded is one of my biggest pet peeves. For example, you’re in the grocery store checkout line. You’ve placed your items on the conveyor belt and moved the cart in front of you. The person behind you decided to stand less than a foot away from you as you waited for the cashier to scan your items. If you are guilty of doing this, you’re using bad manners. 

Not everyone is comfortable with having people they know well, much less strangers breathing down their necks. Respect people’s personal space until they direct you otherwise. 

12. Coughing or Sneezing Without Covering Your Face

This should go without saying, but if you cough or sneeze, you should turn your head away and cover your mouth and nose, either with your hand or the crook of your arm. This practice is critical since the spread of viruses like COVID-19 is so prevalent.

If you choose not to do this, you’re demonstrating bad manners and a lack of respect for your fellow humans. Being kind and considerate doesn’t take anything, so please cover your face when coughing or sneezing.  

13. Littering

If ignoring personal space is my pet peeve, being a litterbug is my husband’s. Other than having bad manners, there is no reason to drop your waste on the ground and leave it for someone else to pick it up. If this is your M.O., please reconsider. Let’s commit to using trash cans for waste disposal. 

We only have one Planet Earth, and if it’s littered with cigarette butts, gum wrappers, and soda cans, what kind of example are we setting for younger generations? Let’s inspire them to be better stewards of our planet. 

14. Talking With Your Mouth Full

I will go to my grave believing that talking while your mouth is full of food and smacking your gum are bad manners. However, a 2022 Telegraph survey found that some people no longer consider it bad manners, though others, like Wikipedia contributors, still see it as very rude. 

If asked a question while eating, you can finish your food, politely signal that you’ll answer after swallowing, and the person will likely wait. Cover your mouth: shield your mouth while chewing to avoid being seen, though this gesture can also suggest anxiety or nervousness.

15. Constantly Teasing or Insulting Others

A good ribbing in the name of harmless fun here and there is perfectly acceptable. However, if you’re that person who takes great pride and joy in constantly teasing, insulting, and making other people the butt of your jokes, it’s a sign you have bad manners. 

In some cases, you might develop the reputation of being an overgrown bully, and that’s never good. Even if you think your jokes are good fun, the one on the receiving end might not think so, and you could potentially be contributing to self-esteem issues. No one’s saying you can’t have fun and tease your loved one occasionally; just be considerate and watch their facial expressions to see if they’re actually enjoying it.