Pitfalls of Perfectionism and How to Use It to Your Advantage
If you’re a perfectionist, you’ll know that it’s a fickle trait to have.
Perfectionism sounds great in theory, but in practice, it’s a heavy cross to bear. There’s a fine line between being an underachiever, or an overachiever – and it’s all about mindset.
Let’s dive into what perfectionism is, what are its pitfalls, and how to make the best of being a perfectionist.
Understanding What Perfectionism Is
Perfectionism is the endless pursuit of flawless results. It’s important to note that perfectionism is not an official medical diagnosis, but a personality trait.
Whether it’s in personal or professional achievements or any other aspect of life, perfectionists are driven by the need to get the highest score on an exam, the best promotion, or at any rate, succeed at the first attempt at anything.
There can be many causes of perfectionism, from upbringing, and trauma, to even genetics.
Pitfall #1: Low Self-Esteem
Low confidence is often tied to perfectionism. When you associate your self-worth too much with your accomplishments, productivity, and reputation, it can lead to feeling overly dependent on external validation. As a result of the incredible pressure, this can negatively affect self-esteem.
To counter this, remind yourself that your self-worth is inherent. You are worthy of health, success, and a happy life by simply being a human being. No amount of numbers or scores will change that.
Pitfall #4: Fear of Failure
One of the biggest challenges of perfectionism is the fear of failure. Childhood, trauma or simply associating productivity with self-worth can cause you to avoid even taking on a task or challenge, due to fear of failure.
In essence, this mindset blockage makes you sabotage yourself before you even give yourself a chance to tackle the challenge. If this is you, try to be more brave and embrace the adventure of a new challenge – you’ll never know until you try it!
Pitfall #5: Unrealistic Standards
Another marker of perfectionism is having unrealistic expectations that nobody can achieve. When you make a habit of setting impossible standards for yourself, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Instead, try to focus on realistic, practical goals.
Pitfall #2: Black-Or-White Thinking
When you’re focused on the results and blind to anything else, it can leave you with black-or-white thinking. This can be detrimental to work performance and mental health, as it leaves no space for grace or errors.
In truth, we are only human beings and it’s better to be kind to ourselves and allow space for any hiccups or challenges.
Pitfall #3: Procrastination
Procrastination can act as a self-defense mechanism.
When failure is unacceptable, the expectations are impossible, and you’re afraid even to start, you might unconsciously procrastinate the task before even starting it. That way, you don’t have to confront all the uncomfortable, painful truths of the entire process!
But inevitably, procrastination only ensures that failure is inevitable – if you never start, you can never succeed. The solution? Make a plan, stop overthinking, and just take the first step.
Pitfall #6: Anxiety
Symptoms of anxiety include restlessness, overthinking, racing thoughts, general unease, and difficulty focusing.
According to a 2016 study, “concern over mistakes, personal standards, parental expectations, parental criticism, doubts about actions, and organization dimensions of perfectionism were found to be significantly correlated to anxiety sensitivity”.
If you experience anxiety, try to be compassionate with yourself, use mindfulness practices like breathing exercises to ground yourself, and remember that not everything in life has to be about performance. You can paint a flower or try new recipes just for the joy of it.
How to Use Perfectionism to Your Advantage
If you can relate to these pitfalls of perfectionism, don’t fret. There are ways to take advantage of this personality trait and make the best of it.
Here are a couple of ways you can positively reframe perfectionism.
Tip #1: Embrace It
First of all, stop trying to ignore its existence. If you’re a perfectionist, there must be a valid reason in your background or relationships. Instead, accept it as a part of you, and recognize that it’s only a burden if you allow it to be.
Focus on the positive ways that perfectionism can improve your life: it can drive you to improve professionally, better yourself as a person, hone your creative skills, or expand on your hobbies.
If you approach perfectionism simply as a way of being curious about life and your potential, it can healthily reframe your perspective.
Tip #2: Positive Self-Talk
The way you regard yourself greatly influences your confidence and mental health. If a side-effect of perfectionism is being hard on yourself, berating yourself, or putting yourself down regarding your efforts and achievements, it’s time to stop.
Try to replace the negative self-talk with a positive one. Reward yourself for trying. Pat yourself on the back for each milestone! Be proud of yourself every time you step out of your comfort zone.
Tip #3: Mindfulness
Mindfulness has incredible benefits in many areas of life. It can help regulate your nervous system, calm your nerves, and improve your mental health.
It can be tempting to multitask in day-to-day life, but instead of optimizing your life, it can lead to burnout and not enjoying any of the things you’re doing.
Try mindfulness practices like meditation, exercise, eating slowly, or simply being fully present in whatever you’re doing – whether it’s driving to work, preparing lunch, or watching a movie.
Tip #4. Avoid Comparison
Nothing good comes of comparing yourself to your neighbor’s fancy yard, a childhood friend’s highlight reel on social media, or the accomplishments of your popular colleague. In reality, there’s always someone in the world doing more.
But their path isn’t yours, and nobody is you. Nobody carries the strengths, qualities, and gifts you do! Embrace your uniqueness, and recognize that your only competition is yourself – becoming better than your past self.
SK Lumen
S.K. Lumen is a writer, artist and blogger who is passionate about helping women become their best selves. Her writing is educational, empowering and uplifting, and includes topics like personal development, self-care, self-love, mental health, wellness and spirituality. Both her art and fantasy books reflect the magical world of her imaginarium, featuring surreal, dreamy visuals and storylines. With a BA in English Language and Literature and a Master’s in Irish Studies, Lumen has always had an appreciation for art, books, psychology, cats, twilight skies, and ancient Celtic cultures.
