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69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood

In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk?

Life does a pretty good job of keeping us stressed and worried, we don’t need our internal dialogue to pile on too. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil.

Most of the articles that I’ve written about affirmations are about more serious topics:

Let’s keep things a little lighter in this article shall we? Here’s a giant list of funny affirmations to help you relax your mind with a little humor when you’re stressed.


Short Funny Affirmations

Here’s some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day.


  • Good morning! I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. Sincerely, yourself.


  • I’m a peli-can! Not a peli-cant.


  • I can’t make everyone happy, I’m not tequila.


  • Effective pushing often involves poop. Today I will embrace the poop.


  • Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny too.


  • Live life to the fullest. Wake up and smell the birdsh*t on your windshield.


  • I try to see the funny side of every situation.


  • Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today.


man reciting funny affirmations


  • Today I’m going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits.


  • My future is a golden, sparkly, explosion of f**king awesomeness.


  • Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please.


  • Who’s that fine ass? Oh, it’s me.


  • I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes.


  • I keep moving forward even if my pants come off.


  • I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full.


  • I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.


Funny Affirmations For Friends

Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? Then perhaps you’d find value in these articles on how to write affirmations and the benefits of affirmations.

If you just want to keep reading, then here’s some affirmations about the funny side of friendship.


  • It’s okay if people don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.


  • My funny vibes attract my funny tribe.


people sitting around a campfire


  • I will never let anyone treat me like a yellow starburst.


  • Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.


  • I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.


  • I’m amusing and make the people around me happy.


  • I receive what I believe.


  • People who talk behind my back are getting a great view.


  • Cry a river. Build a bridge. And get over it.


  • Laughter brings me closer to people.


  • I don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross puddles for me.


  • I love myself, which is why I don’t need to love the idea of other people loving me.


  • My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go.


  • I attract the right people and repel the wrong ones.


  • As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything.


  • You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps.


child hugging lion


  • My friends are like rocks, they help me through hard times.


  • I don’t need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, that’s what my friends are for!


  • Trust me, your secrets are safe with me and all of my friends.


Funny Affirmations For Self-Esteem

Even if you don’t consider yourself a funny person, you should never be afraid to express your unique humor.

You may hear crickets when you try to tell a joke. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable.

But even if this does happen, who cares? You’re just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. People won’t be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made.

Plus, you’re never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. So with that being said, here’s a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell.


  • My mistakes don’t define me. My jokes do.


  • I try to see the funny side of every situation.


  • I make people laugh, whether it’s with me or at me. 


  • I’m full of funny ideas waiting to be expressed.


  • I have a great sense of humor.


  • When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier.


  • I’m laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears.


  • I am funny and smart. 


  • I receive what I believe.


  • Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat.


  • I’m thinking like a proton, always positive.


  • Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win.


  • I’ve got three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.


list of funny affirmations for women


  • My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash.


  • I’m not afraid to speak my mind.


  • I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor.


  • If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut.


Funny Affirmations For Work

To conclude this list of funny affirmations, here’s a few that are specifically focused around work.


  • I am lazy till I get a motive. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. In between, I am alive.


  • My to-do list doesn’t include dealing with negative people.


  • Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life…because that field isn’t hiring.


  • The best way for me to appreciate my job is to imagine myself without one.


  • Every one of my colleagues brings happiness into the office. Some when they enter, some when they leave.


  • When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer.


  • Even broken crayons still color.


  • I am intelligent. The thing is, I’m still getting ready.


  • I’m like a postage stamp. I stick to things until I get to my destination.


ship in the ocean


  • Well, I guess I have to be odd to be number one.


  • Even on my worst day, I’ve still got 24 hours.


  • Dear universe, I’m totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way.


  • I don’t need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me.


  • Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.


  • Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well.


Why It’s Important To Use Affirmations To Make You Laugh

Whether it’s at other people or at ourselves, it’s good to laugh in life.

Laughter keeps us from taking life too seriously, and life certainly does everything it can to ensure that we take it too seriously.

No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. These kinds of things just come with the territory if you’re trying to live a meaningful life.

You need some sort of way to offset the inevitable stressors of life, and what better way to do that than with humor?

If the funny affirmations that I’ve put together don’t break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. I personally love watching masters of comedy captivate audiences with their dark humor and crafty punchlines.

Even on my worst days, turning on some stand up immediately puts me in a better mood.


Final Thoughts On Funny Affirmations

I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations!

Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk.

Because if you can put a smile on your face with a little humor, I guarantee that you’ll feel some weight come off your shoulders.

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