55 Funny Affirmations That Will Make You Smile

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Life is a pretty overwhelming endeavor.

And when things inevitably get tense, you’ve gotta be able to break the tension that’s bubbling up within you.

What better way to do that than through funny affirmations?

Relaxing the mind with some humorous affirmations is a great way to keep things light and ground yourself as you go about your day.

So today, I’m bringing you an extensive collection of affirmations that will provide you with the best medicine there is—laughter!

Let’s go!

Daily Funny Affirmations

  • I’m a peli-can! Not a peli-cant.
  • I can’t make everyone happy, I’m not tequila.
  • Effective pushing often involves poop. Today I’m embracing the poop.
  • I’m always finding ways to laugh and enjoy life.
  • Well, I guess I have to be odd to be number one.
  • I’m thinking like a proton, always positive.
  • Live life to the fullest. Wake up and smell the birdsh*t on your windshield.
  • I try to see the funny side of every situation.
  • Shut up mind, I need to go be awesome.
  • Today I’m going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits.
  • Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please.
  • I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes.
  • I may be a broken crayon but I can still color.
  • I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full.

Funny Positive Affirmations

  • It’s okay if people don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
  • My funny vibes attract my funny tribe.
  • I will never let anyone treat me like a yellow starburst.
  • I’m amusing and make the people around me happy.
  • I may be a broken crayon, but I can still color.
  • I receive what I believe.
  • Even on my worst day, I’ve still got 24 hours.
  • I don’t worry about people talking behind my back, they’re getting a great view.
  • Laughter brings me closer to people.
  • My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash.
  • I love myself, which is why I don’t need to love the idea of other people loving me.
  • My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go.

Funny Sarcastic Affirmations

  • My mistakes don’t define me. My jokes do.
  • I try to see the funny side of every situation.
  • I make people laugh, whether it’s with me or at me. 
  • When sh*t hits the fan, I turn it into fertilizer.
  • I’m full of funny ideas waiting to be expressed.
  • I have a great sense of humor.
  • When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier.
  • I’m laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears.
  • I receive what I believe.
  • Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat.
  • Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win.
  • I’ve got three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
  • I’m a postage stamp. I stick to things until I get to my destination.

I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations!

Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative thoughts.

Because if you can use your self-talk to put a smile on your face, I guarantee that you’ll feel some weight come off your shoulders.

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