12 Etiquette Rules People Break Constantly

The Kingsman films popularized the phrase “manners maketh man” — but try telling that to the grubby teens who practically shoved granny out of the way to get the next spot in the McDonald’s line.

Whether it’s a side effect of social isolation during the Covid-19 pandemic or a sign of general societal degradation, it is more common in 2024 for people to break the rules of good etiquette. Where have our manners gone?

1. A Missed Call Warrants a Return Call, Not a Text

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Text messaging has been a boon for the socially inept. How many times have you called someone, gone to voicemail, and received a return text minutes or hours later?

If we call, it’s because there’s a conversation worth having. Texting won’t do. Warm up those vocal cords and return the missed call.

2. The Chardonnay You Brought For The Host Is Not for You

Wine
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It’s not uncommon for a dinner guest to bring a bottle of wine in adherence to the “don’t come empty-handed” rule, only for the host to immediately pop the bottle and pour some in the guest’s glass. Put a cork in it, host, and leave the cork in it.

Proper etiquette requires the host to drink the bottle of wine on their own rather than share it with the same guest who gifted it. You wouldn’t give your kid a pack of baseball cards for Christmas and then take back half the pack for yourself, would you?

3. Don’t Talk on the Phone in Public

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Unless you can’t possibly avoid it, speaking on the phone in the company of strangers is terrible form. Enduring crowds is dreadful enough without poor strangers facing the monotony of your appointment scheduling, gossip, or whatever else you’re blabbering about.

“Can you hear me now?” Yes, yes, we can. This entire Jersey Mike’s can hear you, Fred. Find a secluded spot, send a text message, or just put the phone away.

4. Pass the Food to the Right

Dinner party
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When you pass the salt and pepper, pretend you’re following the first verse of the Cupid Shuffle — to the right, to the right, to the right, to the right.

According to Reader’s Digest, this etiquette is because people are generally right-handed. Passing food to the right helps avoid the dreaded side-dish traffic jam, which worsens the plight of countless starving diners each year.

5. Your Napkin Goes on Your Chair, Not the Table

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While placing a spotless linen napkin on the dining table might seem harmless, you’d never get away with it if you were dining with King Charles or the Habsburgs.

The napkin goes on the chair when you get up from the table, especially if you have taken edible shrapnel to the bib during your meal.

6. Avoid Flagging Down the Waiter

Young happy man using smart phone while making payment to a waiter in a pub.
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If your server checks on your table frequently, avoid calling them over like your yellow lab. Direct your most laser-focused gaze toward the server’s eyes, and they’ll eventually catch notice.

This rule goes out the window when your server is oblivious. If you feel ignored or neglected, break the rules and stick a subtle finger in the air. Break out your megaphone if you feel justified in doing so.

7. A No-Show Is Not an RSVP

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Crazy as it may seem to the old timers, some uncultured swine believe an RSVP is only necessary if you’re going to attend an event. In fact, a “répondez s’il vous plaît” translates to “respond, if you please.”

Whether you’re attending or not, you should respond. People are expecting a reply and will likely hold off on placing dinner, drink, and dessert orders until they get a response. Don’t delay your hosts.

8. Send a Written Thank You

close-up photo of a female hands holding a pink invitation envelope with a wax seal, a gift certificate, a card, a wedding invitation card, writing a letter
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Author Dale Carnegie advises giving genuine compliments to win friends and influence others. A compliment (and thank you) hits way harder when handwritten on personalized stationery.

Too many people take the gracious path of least resistance: a verbal thank you. Real ones go a step further, writing a letter of thanks, licking the envelope, sticking the stamp, and mailing that sucker.

9. Remove Your Shades Before Saying “Hey”

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Eye contact is becoming a lost art due to the magnetic pull of cell phone screens, the demise of cotillion classes, and the rise of conditions that make it tough for young people to socialize. Even adults often fail to remove their Ray-Bans when greeting others, including those they’re meeting for the first time.

You’re not Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, or Maverick from Top Gun. Take the shades off and look people in the eye — until introductions are complete.

10. Don’t Speak Ill of the Dead…or the Living

Funeral
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Back in the day, it was a big deal if the Montagues and the Capulets uttered a bad word about each other. The French and English worked hard not to speak too hostilely about their sworn enemy.

Speaking ill of others didn’t just come with severe consequences (namely generational feuds and armed conflicts). People just knew that bad-mouthing others was bad form.

11. Be Five Minutes Early

woman worrying, trying to be punctual with anxiety checking time on watch
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It’s not enough to beat your haircut time by thirty seconds. Be five minutes early, at least. Everyone has an excuse for being late, and none are acceptable.

If you aren’t able to show up on time, the very least you can do is call whoever you’re meeting up with, whether it be for a doctor’s appointment, coffee with a friend, or a spa day, and let them know you’re going to be a little late. Don’t show up without explanation and expect a warm welcome.

12. Answer the Phone Like an Adult

Corded Phone, vintage phone, talking, conversation, woman, girl, sitting
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If you’re still blurting out the “whazaaaaaa?” from the late-90s Budweiser commercials when you answer the phone, you’re probably someone I’d love to hang with. However, you’d never last in high society.

Proper phone etiquette calls for a simple “Hello” or perhaps a “Hi, this is Dale” when picking up your cell phone. First impressions mean everything, so don’t answer your phone like a clown.

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