13 Obscure Etiquette Rules Everyone Breaks
Though manners and proper etiquette evolve over time, many believe certain practices should remain. Still, most people have broken at least one etiquette rule in their lifetime.
To be fair, not everyone grows up learning about particular manners. Likewise, some rules fall out of mainstream knowledge, so most do not break or bend them intentionally or out of malice or contempt. Though, of course, there are always those who enjoy being contrary.
However, some people want to demonstrate a certain degree of respect, kindness, and good etiquette. In that case, remembering the rules one has likely broken in the past will prevent any future faux pas.
1. Cutting All Your Food at Once
One of the revolutionary authorities on etiquette, Emily Post, created many of the rules Western society has followed since the 1900s. Many involve table manners, including cutting one’s food one piece at a time.
Many cut a great deal or all of the meal before eating. This would not be proper at all, according to Emily Post. So, if you want to follow a more old-fashioned approach, cut each piece of steak, chicken, etc., between each bite.
2. Proper Introductions
Failing to introduce people properly happens all the time and frequently through no fault of the individual. Manners such as these have fallen by the wayside quite a bit. Reader’s Digest highlights these practices that etiquette expert Lisa Grotts proclaims.
People do not always introduce doctors, professors, and members of the armed forces as such. These people have earned those titles and, therefore, deserve that recognition. Moreover, according to Grotts, the oldest person should be given the first introduction.
3. Women Dancing With Every Man Who Asks
We have Emily Post to thank for this etiquette rule. Of course, Post came up with her lists at a much different time. In her era, women were expected to say yes to every dance request unless the man had too much to drink.
This would be one etiquette rule that women break often and freely- and rightly so. Though some may call it snobbish or rude, society has evolved, and women have earned the right to refuse a dance if they wish. A woman can’t be too careful.
4. Not Bringing a Hostess Gift
Whether attending a dinner party or intimate gathering, bringing a hostess gift should be standard practice. The gift does not need to be extravagant or expensive. It could be a small trinket, a bottle of wine, or a bouquet of flowers.
The importance lies in the gesture of the gift itself. It shows an appreciation to the host for the invitation and for opening up their home to others. One should also not expect the host to open the gift in front of you.
5. Sending Prompt Thank You Notes
Letter writing, in general, has become a lost art, let alone sending thank you cards. However, in the digital age many fail even to send thank you texts. While not every gift demands a thank you note, at the very least, individuals should send out thanks after significant events such as weddings, baby showers, graduations, and milestone birthdays.
Moreover, recipients should do their best to send these notes out promptly. Sending them out within three months shows the gift giver proper appreciation and respect. Still, speaking from experience, many never send any form of thank you cards at all.
6. Failing to R.S.V.P.
We’ve likely all been there. Receiving an invitation can elicit many conflicting emotions, from excitement to anxiety. People do not R.S.V.P. for numerous reasons, such as forgetfulness or wanting to decline but not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings.
R.S.V.P stands for the répondez s’il vous plait or “please respond.” It may not seem like a big deal to some, but it gives hosts an indication of who will attend. This response proves imperative for many gatherings, such as weddings and dinner parties, for the purpose of food preparation and place cards.
7. Talking on Speaker Phone in Public
Public phone conversations used to be a major faux pas, but those days have long since passed. Talking on speaker phones is another story. Many people have no qualms about random strangers hearing private conversations, even about personal matters.
However, consider how a conversation may be inappropriate to those around you. Likewise, Grotts points out how disruptive and rude this can be to others. Phone conversations should not supersede common courtesy.
8. Avoiding Foul Language
Using foul language has become commonplace in everyday vernacular, so much so that many never censor their language anywhere. Though opinions on the subject vary, proper etiquette says language should match your surroundings.
Speaking to friends does not necessarily match how we should talk to a co-worker or supervisor. With children present, one should avoid using profanity. The British School of Excellence proclaims that being mindful of one’s language demonstrates politeness and respect.
9. Men Removing and Tipping Their Hats
An old-fashioned practice, to say the least, Emily Post’s Etiquette In Society, In Business, In Politics, And at Home lays out many rules that respectful individuals follow. One of these includes men removing their hats when in the presence of women and tipping their hats to strangers as a greeting.
Some still practice these manners, the first in particular. However, such rules feel antiquated to many, and many do not even know these rules exist. Though not for everyone, it offers a silent sign of respect many will appreciate.
10. Partners Sitting Together at Dinner Parties
Who says you can’t learn anything from the movies, even silly spoof comedies like Neil Simon’s Murder by Death? In the film, Detective Charleston points out that spouses should never be seated next to each other at a proper dinner party. This assertion checks out.
These days, people regularly break this rule, whether out of comfort or ignorance. However, partners should face each other if they want to follow basic table manners.
11. Keeping One Hand Free
At social gatherings like receptions, parties, or work events, keeping one hand free at all times proves key. One should always be ready to greet and shake hands. However, people sometimes forget to do this easy task.
Common practice would be to keep the right hand free for handshakes and hold either food or a drink in the left hand, never both. Freeing one hand eliminates any possible awkwardness when meeting others.
12. Firm Handshakes
Speaking of handshakes, how often do individuals break the firm handshake etiquette rule? It happens frequently, with many barely ever making an effort.
Though it’s important not to squeeze too tightly, a firm handshake demonstrates respect and confidence. Moreover, the duration of a handshake should not last too long. A few beats prove to be adequate.
13. Men Standing on the Outside of a Sidewalk
In the modern age, people break many of Emily Post’s etiquette rules, including those that seem anti-feminist. The act of a man standing on the outside of a sidewalk when walking next to a woman would be one of these.
The practice shields and protects women from dangers on the street, such as vehicles or attackers. Today, women do not necessarily need or want this so-called protection because they can take care of themselves. However, many women don’t take offense to this old-fashioned manner when they know it comes from a place of genuine care.
