17 Best ‘Comedy Central Roast’ Jokes of All Time

Oh, what a burn! The jabs, sly comments, and crude insults come at a rapid-fire pace at any Comedy Central Roast event.

All bets fly off the table when a celebrity approaches the main stage for a Comedy Central Roast affair. Though decked in suits and intricate outfits, the jokes remain filthy, vulgar, and downright explosive in certain turns. Of course, the audience can’t help but laugh at the expense of someone’s embarrassment.

While only 17 Comedy Central Roasts aired, hundreds of jokes rest in the history of televised ludicrousness. Many stick out, yet these humorous bits stand as the best these television specials delivered.

No Legroom for the Bieber

Many celebrities target Justin Bieber and his career in his 2015 roast. Hannibal Buress berates the young roastee; “Ron Burgundy” (Will Ferrell in costume) highlights some of the singer’s embarrassing moments in the media. While several refuse to hold back on specific topics, Natasha Leggero aims to summarize Bieber’s questionable fame with a few cracks.

“Justin Bieber, everybody. Seems like only yesterday you were discovered on YouTube… Justin, Selena Gomez… is literally the least lucky Selena in all of entertainment history,” Leggero says.

Pete Davidson, Never Forget

Comedians, musicians, and actors drill into Justin Bieber’s fame and family at the singer’s 2015 Comedy Central Roast. Pete Davidson serves as one of the event’s roasters, targeting Bieber’s controversial father, Jeremy Bieber. Davidson comments on models and Bieber’s tattoos before moving on to a familial strike.

“Justin, you know, I lost my dad on 9/11, and I always regretted growing up without a dad. Until I met your dad, Justin. Now, I’m glad mine’s dead,” Davidson gladly shares as he transitions to a Soul Plane reference. “Kevin [Hart], Snoop — Soul Plane was the worst experience of my life involving a plane,” he continues.

Karma Bites Charlie Sheen’s Tiger Blood

The heavily-armed “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross loads an arrangement of fiery insults. Ross digs into Charlie Sheen’s controversies by attacking the actor’s complicated history. As such, he lists Sheen’s discomfiting lifestyle while standing before the podium at Sheen’s roast.

“Charlie, if you’re winning, then this must not be a child custody hearing. Only time your kids get to see you is in reruns. Charlie, don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?” the Roastmaster asks a responsive Sheen. “Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez said they would’ve been here tonight, but they had a family obligation,” Ross continues.

Knight Rider Roast

Jeff Ross accumulates enough verbal taunts for any roast he attends. For David Hasselhoff’s special, Ross steps onto the stage decked in a leather jacket and a speedo. He mocks roast master Seth MacFarlane before moving on to Hasselhoff, examining The Hoff’s drunken turns in the media. For one instance, he mentions the Knight Rider TV show.

“What a lucky break; what are the odds? An alcoholic gets cast in a show about a car that drives itself,” Ross says before tipping a glass with Hasselhoff. Earlier, Ross performed an outdated salute to Hasselhoff after addressing the two’s dynamic Jewish and German backgrounds.

Remembering Cobain in the Worst Way Possible

Another Jeff Ross moment involves roastee Pamela Anderson and roaster Courtney Love on stage. The Baywatch lifeguard sits next to Love, who watches Ross tickle the stomachs of many in attendance. The Roastmaster General aims to attack Anderson, but only after landing a few blows on Love, who appears terribly inebriated.

“How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?” Jeff announces, more than a decade after the Nirvana singer took his own life in 1994. Love stands to protest, yet Ross continues with a jab at Lady Bunny as “Pamela Manderson” across the stage.

Not a Swiftie

Nikki Glaser enjoys getting personal with her fellow participants at the roast specials. One moment involves analyzing Jewel Kilcher’s choppers at the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe.

“Jewel is here. Or, as I call her, ‘Trailer Swift.’ Jewel, I do not want to badmouth you since God already did…I feel like your teeth are like the Spice Girls, you know, they’re all different colors, and they’re, like, doing their own thing, so that’s fun,” Nikki delivers as Jewel chuckles and mildly shields her teeth at the joke’s expense.

Betty White Gets Nuts

Charm and raunchiness go hand-in-hand, and Betty White administers a healthy dose at the Roast of William Shatner. The occasion features several nods to Shatner’s legacy with the Star Trek universe. An original Warp 11 tune, Orion girls tending bar, and a few members of the USS Enterprise sit in attendance.

“I have been a huge Trekkie ever since the show first aired, and that’s why I’m so thrilled to see Nichelle [Nichols] and George Takei here tonight. Because, let’s face it, we all know [William] Shatner’s nuts, but George has actually tasted them,” White assures the crowd.

Demi Moore Sees Dead People

One of the surprises at the Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis belongs to Demi Moore’s appearance. To the delight of Willis’ roasters, the pair’s daughters in attendance, and audience members in the room, Moore tears into her former husband’s life. She touches on Willis’ Die Hard films, their three children, and the actor’s appearance.

Upon reflecting on their time together, Moore delivers the line: “I just look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense. You were dead the whole time.” Moore finishes with a touching appreciation for Willis’ commitment to his life as a family man. The two then embrace one another amid audience applause.

Mike Tyson’s Ears

As part of his poetic introduction at the roast podium, Mike Tyson expresses a few verses at Charlie Sheen’s roast. During the occasion, Jeff Ross jokingly stands and refutes one of Tyson’s deliveries. By playing on the poem’s structure, Tyson verbally jabs at Ross’ appearance.

“I’m rather intrigued by your puffy grotesque face, Jeff, you know. Normal- normally, when I’m next to somebody whose face is as grotesque as yours, they throw in the towel, man. You’re a mess, man. During your performance, I wish I’d bit my own ears off, you know?” Tyson said, alluding to his notorious brawl with Evander Holyfield in 1997.

Charlie Sheen’s New TV Show

Seth MacFarlane serves as the roast master for Charlie Sheen’s 2011 special. MacFarlane chastises the actor for his failed ventures, with Sheen’s ludicrous activities coming to light. A small screen specialist, MacFarlane comments on Sheen’s televised eyesores.

“Honestly, Charlie, I never thought I would live to see the night that you would live to see this night,” MacFarlane jokes.

Flavor Flav of VD

Patton Oswalt sits as one of the roasters for Flavor Flav’s obnoxious comedy event. While the Public Enemy enjoys all the glamour, jokes remain on the clocks, and roast master Katt Williams leads the troops. As Oswalt takes the podium, he evaluates the rapper’s famous VH1 show.

“You had your own show, The Flavor of Love, which – I didn’t know syphilis had a flavor,” Oswalt says to Flavor’s delight. Oswalt further heightens the stakes by referencing Brigitte Nielsen’s love life and how Flavor came out alive compared to other actors.

A Picture with the Champ

Athletes also get to spit a few insults at their peers; in this case, Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning attends Rob Lowe’s roast. The Super Bowl champion rams into every roaster on stage before focusing on the night’s entree with Lowe. However, Manning mentions Pete Davidson for one hilarious joke.

“I just met this guy, Pete Davidson, backstage before the show, a great guy. He asked to take a picture with me, and I didn’t realize he was one of the comedians. I told him, ‘Don’t give up, kid. Whatever disease you have, you can beat it,'” Manning tells the audience. Davidson laughs at Manning’s comic turn.

The Cable Guy Plugs In

The Blue Collar Comedy Tour consists of four comedians, all of whom attend Jeff Foxworthy’s roast. Ron White, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy each take the stage to playfully belittle their friend. The latter takes a deep cut into Foxworthy’s self-titled show.

“I’ve known Jeff [Foxworthy] for many years. I was the one that held him in my arms the day they called him the worst actor ever on television… Before he died, Christopher Reeve actually was watching The Jeff Foxworthy Show and got up and changed the channel,” Larry states, even further expressing how much funnier Roots aired compared to Foxworthy’s program.

The Great Giraldo Strikes at the Hoff

Greg Giraldo always approached the crude dais of a Roast with material for all on stage. His uncanny roasting arsenal makes him a promising contributor at nearly every Comedy Central Roast. For the Roast of David Hasselhoff, Giraldo pours himself a glass of alcohol-inspired insults for the Hoff’s drunken twists.

“You’re such a drunk; when Alcohol does its taxes, it lists you as a dependent,” Giraldo expresses. Hasselhoff and many cheer at the joke, with the former even applauding the delivery.

Baldwin Loses

Many celebrities attack Alec Baldwin and his ludicrous behavior when the film cameras don’t roll. For his 2019 roast event, Ken Jeong, Blake Griffin, and Robert De Niro took the stage. However, the biggest surprise adheres with Ireland Baldwin’s appearance.

Pulling no punches, Ireland rips her father to shreds. After referencing Baldwin’s sore voicemail and parental troubles, Ireland summarizes her feelings with a sentiment. “A lot of people only know my dad as an angry guy, but he’s more than some lunatic who loses his temper. He also loses Emmys and Oscars and custody of his firstborn child.”

Alec Rocked

Ireland Baldwin didn’t stand as the only personality to examine Alec Baldwin’s flaws. Sean Hayes, who guest stars on 30 Rock, references Baldwin’s involvement in the show with a slight jab.

“Alec, sit back, unclench your fists, and I promise—this’ll be the funniest thing you’ve ever been a part of that Tina Fey didn’t carry you through,” Hayes says while Baldwin’s jaw drops. This occurs after Hayes mentions Baldwin’s boozy past.

Four Birds, One Stone

For the Roast of Justin Bieber, Natasha Leggero targets Kevin Hart. A domino effect transpires from one insult to the next as Leggero attacks other roasters.

“Kevin, you are everywhere. You know, Kevin’s actually gonna be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He is playing Peter Dinklage’s shadow. Kevin does all of his own stunts. He climbs into his own chair. He climbs out of his own bathtub… Kevin has a Napoleon complex,” Leggero says before focusing on individual participants. “Kevin, Napoleon was the leader of France. Ludacris, France is in Europe. Justin, Europe’s a continent. Shaq, a continent is not a free breakfast.”