24 Old School Foods You’ve Never Heard Of
Right now, America’s food quality is part of a continued discussion on nutrition. The former independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been on a campaign to improve what goes into America’s processed foods. Some products have a truly incredible list of stabilizers, anti-oxidants, and colorants that might cause health problems.
It wasn’t always like this. Back in the day, nobody knew what was in their food, and they didn’t care — though there were likely fewer additives. Certain food products from yesteryear got lost somewhere along the timeline. Moreover, recipes have evolved, and many of these have completely disappeared.
We have delved into the past to rekindle memories of obscure foods — some of these need to make a comeback, while others can politely stay away.
1. Ambrosia Salad
Ambrosia salad is hard even to discuss; thinking about it can turn the most hardened of stomachs. Here is why: canned fruits with chopped coconuts mixed in cream may sound appealing — it’s when the mayo variation that may turn stomachs.
Anybody for fruit coleslaw? Worse still, how about a green jello rendition? This NPR interview reveals one man’s ambrosia salad holiday nightmare. “It was just electric green,” says Daniel Davis. “What else more do I have to say?”
2. Hershey’s Bites
Okay, we can all agree that Hershey’s is to chocolate what Velveeta is to mac and cheese. However, we can also agree that Hershey’s Bites were okay. This now-defunct Hershey’s chocolate product was canceled in 2007 thanks to a pesky choking hazard.
To be fair, it’s unclear whether that’s a bad thing — there are other chocolate spheres out there that actually contain chocolate.
3. Baked Alaska
This entry is age-specific. Boomers and their Gen-X offspring are all familiar. While we see this recipe on cooking shows, one could argue it is no longer a household name. Ask the average American teen what “baked Alaska” is, and they would likely think you were discussing a provincial documentary about marijuana.
Yet, if you told them what it was — ice cream surrounded by a smores-like layer of meringue, they would surely get excited. Mashed even has a mint ice cream variation — we need to make baked Alaska a household name again.
4. Philadelphia Cheesecake Bars
Who was around when the soft cheese overlords at Philadelphia decided to enter the sweet snacks race? Anyone who was a kid in the ’90s might salivate at the thought of trying one of these again.
Philadelphia Cheesecake Bars were a biscuit-topped, hardened cream cheese casing for strawberry coulis. Thankfully, nostalgists everywhere have attempted to bring these delights back, like this recipe at TheSqueakyCleaner.
5. Ham Salad
I had never heard of this recipe until recently, and I am confident there is a good reason we don’t see this sandwich filler on most menus. I guess it depends on the person, but the premise of finely chopped ham mixed with mayonnaise and other options doesn’t appeal here.
It might divide opinion, this one — a Washington Post feature sings ham salad’s praises, though with one omitted ingredient: mayo. This recipe with ham, pickles, onion, and celery offers a contentious variation.
6. Eel Pie
Jellied eels are a delicacy still enjoyed in pockets of East London today, though eel pie is thankfully much harder to find. Eels have a high gelatin content making their liquor sets into a natural jelly. Such a meal sounds gross to most sentient humans, though certain people love it.
Many American colonists hailed from Britain, a land blessed with eels — particularly in London’s River Thames. The tradition continued in the Thirteen Colonies, with New Worlders finding their eels off Cape Cod and further inland. Pastry-encrusted eel-flavored jello, anyone?
7. Jell-O Pudding Pop
This novelty snack item first made the supermarket frozen section in the ’70s, and it was a variant of Jell-O pudding. In this case, it was Jello-O, frozen on a stick with a crunchy ice layer on the outside, coming in chocolate, vanilla, banana, and peanut butter flavors.
Perhaps an omen for how the future looked (they were halted in 2004) came when they appointed Bill Cosby in the marketing campaign. Fittingly, both entities are missing from American life, though we can imagine most people would like to see at least one comeback.
8. Turtles
There is a scene in The Office: An American Workplace during Jim and Pam’s wedding where Dwight gifts them a turtle. The idea of eating a shelled reptile may not appeal to many, but roasted turtle and turtle soup were American delicacies well into the 20th century.
Sarah Pruitt of The History Channel suggests President Lincoln’s last meal was turtle soup — not to be confused with mock turtle soup. Green turtles were eventually hunted to extinction, hence the arrival of “mock” turtle soup, which uses lamb or calf’s head.
9. Robin Pie
People named “Robin” can rest assured that they were not once an American food staple. Nonetheless, the famous small birds synonymous with Christmas cards were considered dinner in the past.
By many accounts, robin pie was a popular restaurant choice in American high society. Maris Fessenden writes for Smithsonian Magazine about how a late 19th-century cookbook entry features a robin pie recipe.
10. Mug-o-Lunch
General Mills has been at the forefront of wacky food experiments, and few meet the level of the Betty Crocker Mug-o-Lunch. In the world’s hardest-working country, convenience is king.
The Mug-o-Lunch marketing line was: “Hearty hot dishes you make in a mug.” However, it appeared rehydrated beef noodles, mac and cheese, or spaghetti in a mug wasn’t a hit. The brand lasted five years and was discontinued in 1981.
11. Roasted Beaver
When reflecting on America’s past eating habits, we must remember what the country once looked like. Early European settlers traded in beaver pelts, which would become top hats worn by the upper classes.
Therefore, beaver trappers had an abundance of beavers whose fur-free meat contained valuable calories. Being such a tough part of the animal, the process of cooking involved roasting on the fire, peeling, then boiling in water.
12. Ham and Banana Hollandaise
Perhaps the weirdest entry here is this oddity hailing from a 1973 McCall’s Great American Recipe Card Collection. Whoever was responsible for this monstrosity somehow got their recipe into the mainstream.
However, some individuals might salivate at the thought of ham-wrapped bananas baked in a hot oven, slathered in bechamel sauce. Of course, there are many ironic tribute recipes on the Internet. This attempt from Vintage Every Day features an image of the hallowed culinary nightmare.
13. Koogle
Americans love peanut butter, which puzzles Europeans — still, we don’t say anything about their Nutella fetish. One might think the U.S. leads the way in peanut butter consumption, but they would be wrong — that accolade goes to China.
Back in 1971, Kraft decided peanut butter needed a makeover, launching Koogle, a sweet variation on the salty paste. Kids loved the chocolate, vanilla, and cinnamon versions, but it disappeared later that decade.
14. Chicken Kiev
In America, fried chicken is king, so breaking into the chicken market was never going to be easy for the former Russian Empire’s most famous poultry recipe. For those unaware,
Chicken Kiev (Kyiv) is a boneless, breaded chicken filet stuffed with garlic butter.
Some consider this a Ukrainian dish, though Americans have fought over the dish’s origin. Jassy Davis of LoveFood writes that its origin is thought to be 1930s Chicago. In any case,
15. Betty Crocker French Toastwich
In principle, this sounds amazing — a ready-to-go French toast sandwich with a filling. In reality, these breakfast snacks only had a short one-year lifespan. They came in three flavors: sausage and maple, grilled cheese, and pizzaburger.
It’s when you consider the latter flavor that the product’s failure makes sense. A pizzaburger-flavored French toast doesn’t sound like fun, though who are we to judge? In any case, the maple and sausage version has plenty of copycat versions, like this one from BoundedByBuns.
16. Watergate Salad
The American ’70s was a golden age of food crimes, and the evidence is there with Watergate salad. Its origin is earlier than that decade, but it came of age during the same period as its ugly sister, ambrosia salad.
Watergate “salad” contains Pistachio-flavored Jell-O instant pudding, mini marshmallows, canned pineapple, chopped nuts, and whipped cream. Salad probably isn’t a fair description — its former moniker, “Pistachio Pineapple Delight,” works better.
17. Golden Yangles
America is renowned for many unique cultural identifiers, and Girl Scouts’ cookies certainly fit that mold. There is something timeless about well-mannered youngsters knocking on doors for a good cause, though some of their treats didn’t always hit the mark.
Mental Floss lists all the discontinued Girl Scout cookies over the years, including the odd Golden Yangles, which were cheddar cheese-flavor crackers. Strangely, this savory snack lasted 11 years before halting.
18. Pepper Cakes
Legend has it that Martha Washington received a cookery book in 1749 called A Booke of Cookery, containing a curious “pepper cake” recipe. The recipe advised readers, “To Make Pepper Cakes That Will Keep Good In Ye House For a Quarter or Halfe a Year.”
Sarah Lohman of Four Pounds Flour attempted the recipe, using pepper as a spice, like ground ginger or cinnamon. Her overall take was that “if this was good eating 300 years ago, I feel sad for the 1700s.”
19. Joey Chips
General Mills’ Joey Chips went on sale in 1967, lasting an impressive 25 years before being discontinued. There is little to recall other than the package-based slogan: “PART CORN; PART POTATO.”
Little did General Mills know that Robocop (1987) producers would steal their idea for the movie slugline (“Part Man: Part Machine”). In any case, who is to say Joey Chips were any worse than most products today? I guess some items just have their time. Those searching for Joey Chips today may find the inverse in a brand of Nordic seed chips.
20. Clabber
Not to be confused with “Clabber Girl” baking powder, clabber is curdled raw milk fermented at room temperature, which allows the natural cultures to thicken the milk. Clabber was popular during the period before refrigeration, using freshly drawn milk for natural fermentation.
Although it has fallen away somewhat in the West, Gigi Mitts of MyFermentedFood champions clabber’s health benefits. “Contrary to what people often think, this process has nothing to do with spoiling the milk,” writes Mitts. “Only pasteurized milk that contains no beneficial bacteria can spoil.”
21. Bacon Bow-Tie Crackers
Someone somewhere along America’s culinary timeline worked out that wrapping products in bacon was what the world needed. Who can argue with a crispy bacon finish? Burgers, salads, and nearly all breakfast recipes enjoy a bacon garnish.
However, back in the dinner party heyday of the ’70s, bacon bow tie crackers were (and likely still are) a thing. To some, greasy bacon wrapped around a dry cracker may sound terrible, but after a few cold ones, these could be promising.
22. Pizza Spins
General Mills was at it again in 1968, when it brought (arguably) the world’s first pizza-flavored chips to society — mini pinwheel pizza morsels. The ingredients were allegedly like those of any normal pizza, according to the Pizza Spins webpage.
“Pizza Spins contained many of the same ingredients found in a real big-boy pizza,” reads the entry, “Parmesan cheese, tomatoes, pizza spices and pepper.” The item lasted only seven years on supermarket shelves before cancelation.
23. Rice Pudding
Anyone looking for rice pudding in the United States today will come up against a wall of Hispanic rice recipes, namely arroz con leche (rice with milk). Yet, rice pudding was a common staple among colonialist Brits or French, who gave it a provincial twist.
The British version is simpler: rice, milk, and sugar. Naturally, while the French didn’t manage to leave their cultural imprint in the future nation, their version of rice pudding was far superior. Food writer Anson Mills shares his rendition of the French “empress rice,” named after a French empress, Eugénie de Montijo.
24. Stallone Pudding
At first, it appears as a pudding in a can, made by manufacturers named Stallone. Going down a rabbit hole, one realizes that this “high-protein” canned dessert is from the man himself. Stallone was on the board of a health food company that wanted to bring a healthier dessert choice for other bodybuilders.
Sly Stallone’s dessert endorsement came with problems, one being a lawsuit with a food scientist who claimed to have designed the recipe. Stallone’s pudding dream ended up being spilled on the metaphorical restaurant floor — it was discontinued sometime in the 2010s, much like Stallone’s movie career.
